Life Lessons: What are important things and advice to know that people generally aren’t told about?[转]

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Highly upvoted answers below make the following points:

  • Marry your best friend: If the person you’re the most comfortable with isn’t your spouse, make them! (Assuming this person is not your family member)
  • Don’t try and be a “grown up”: Always have fun (without drugs or alcohol). Mud-wrestle, sing, pillow-fight, any age.
  • Don’t stop learning: If you start coasting through life, you’re gonna lose. Always stretch your intellect.
  • Don’t always try to be original: Just tell the story or paint the canvas or whatever.
  • Focusing on “fairness” will lead to stagnation.
  • If you’re not failing, you’re doing it wrong. (It’s OK to make mistakes.)
  • Don’t try and reason with mindless, irrational people.
  • Don’t stress yourself out with news and “staying informed” too much.
  • Do something that’s not for money.
  • The key to happiness is BUILDING stuff, not GETTING stuff.
  • True love and a good marriage involve a lot of fighting, not serenity.
  • Time passes by a lot faster than you’d think. This effect accelerates with age.
  • Wealth is relatively unimportant.
  • Some things can’t be learned; they can only be experienced.
  • Figure out who you are, then ACCEPT that person, and then BE that person.
  • Don’t wait for permission. Give yourself the okay.
  • Don’t lie to yourself.
  • Forgive as much as possible. Grudges achieve little.
  • Be humble (especially to the “little” people).
  • You and you alone control how happy you allow yourself to be.
  • Find a mentor and BE a mentor.
  • Find what you like and let it kill you.
  • If you have to go to the bathroom, stop what you are doing and go. Don’t try to “hold it.”
  • You don’t have to eat everything that’s on your plate.
  • You don’t have to pick up a phone that’s ringing.
  • Flossing teeth is very important.
  • Always take action on things. People regret inaction more than action.
156 Answers

Marcus Geduld, Shakespearean director, computer prog…

745 votes by Mary Rhee, Kuldeep Kapade, Jane Huang, (more)

1. Marry your best friend.

I am truly amazed that I have the most successful marriage of all my friends — going strong after fifteen years. Most of my friends are amazed, too, because, growing up, I was the geek who couldn’t get a girlfriend. I had almost no relationships until I was in my mid twenties. I got married at 29. I’m now 45 and still deeply in love. Meanwhile, I have seen so many of my friends get divorces and/or grind their teeth through loveless, combative relationships.
What I’ve noticed about these people is that, 90% of the time, (a) they got married really young and (b) they mistakenly thought that long-term romances work best when when they’re based entirely on lust and trivial shared tastes (e.g. “We both like the same bands.”)
Sometimes, I hear people say things like, “I’ve been dating this guy for a year. We get along okay, but sometimes I think about leaving… How do I know if he’s ‘the one’?” This makes me really sad, because it’s SO obvious to me that my wife is ‘the one.’ Why? Because she’s my best friend. Whenever anything good or bad happens to me, she’s the person I want to tell! When I need advice, she’s the person I run to! When I need to laugh, she’s the person I joke around with!
If you don’t KNOW that the other person is ‘the one,’ he’s not (or she’s not). And though it SUCKS to be alone — believe me, I know. I was alone for YEARS — it’s better than settling. DON’T settle. You’ll STILL be alone. It is very possible to be alone while being in a relationship. Many people are.
(Let me be really clear about what I mean by “don’t settle.” I don’t mean “look for someone who is perfect.” No one is perfect. I mean that if you feel luke-warm about someone, he’s not the one. If the person you’re with makes you continually unhappy, she’s not the one. Don’t settle for THAT because “it beats being alone.” It doesn’t. You evolved to think it does. Your brain will continually tell you that it does. It doesn’t.)
The other sad thing I hear is “Bill is my best friend. We have so much in common. He’s always there for me. We talk for hours. I completely trust him and we have the exact same sense of humor … but … I don’t know … the spark isn’t there…”
When I hear this, I don’t say anything, because it’s none of my business, but I want to scream “GET OVER THIS ‘SPARK’ THING! STOP BELIEVING IN HOLLYWOOD VISIONS OF CATCHING SOMEONE’S EYE ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM! Jesus Christ! You found someone you connect with on SO many levels, and you’re not getting down on your knees and proposing?!? Do you think you’re going to find 30 more people like that in your life?!?”
The “spark” doesn’t last, anyway. I’m not saying that sex dies or anything. I’m just saying that incredibly exciting, new romance feeling inevitably fades. But, if you’re lucky, what comes next is much, much better. You spend years in that loving, warm place with the person you know you want to grow old with. And if you have good communication with someone, the spark can come later, even if it’s not there at first.
Lots of people seem to learn this after a long time and a lot of pain. They marry the “bad boy” or the “hot chick” instead of their best friends, because doing so is more exciting. Then those marriages — which are based on nothing — fail. Sometimes, if these people are lucky, they later marry those best friends who they should have married in the first place. If they’re unlucky, they can’t, because the best friends have moved on.
2. There’s no such thing as a “grown up,” and if you try to be one, you’ll wind up becoming a poser at best and a killjoy at worst.

First of all, if you’re waiting for that magic time when you’re finally THERE, give it up. As I ease into the middle age, I can see it will never happen. I will never have learned what I need to lean in order to be a grownup. I will never be 100% confident. I will never stop failing…
People who seem like they have it all together are either faking it or living such incredibly boring lives that they they never face any challenges.
Let me be clear that I am a responsible person. So if all “grownup” means to you is “someone who does the dishes,” then — yes — I’m a grown up. But it’s not like when I was younger, I was a child … a child … a child … a child … and then I reached some particular birthday and — BOING — I was an adult.
God, I HATE people who think it’s important to be grown up. They are no fun at all. They are the people who, if you show any enthusiasm that goes beyond what you have to do at your job, inevitably say, “Looks like someone has too much time on his hands!”
Don’t be that guy!
As you go through life — especially when you pass through your 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s — continually ask yourself this: “When was the last time I played in the mud?”
It is VITAL that you play in the mud! You MUST do this or you’ll lose your soul! I am somewhat speaking in metaphor. If you don’t like mud, that’s fine. But when did you last finger paint? When did you last get into a pillow fight with your friends (or with your spouse?) When did you last sing a loud, off-key song where all the lyrics were nonsense words? What was the last time you did something utterly POINTLESS that was great fun?
Playing Scrabble doesn’t count. (I say that as a huge Scrabble fan.) Playing tennis doesn’t count. Those activities are great, but they’re too regimented. They are too much about rules. They don’t involve CUTTING LOOSE, LETTING GO and being VULNERABLE. (By vulnerable, I mean doing stuff that may lead other people to say “Act your age!”)
Getting drunk or high doesn’t count, either. If you can only dance around in your underwear when you’ve had three (or ten) drinks, you’re doing it wrong. One of the reason drugs don’t count, is because they put you in an altered state that is disconnected from who you are when you’re not drunk or high. Your goal should be to become someone who always has a little bit of play in him — not someone who is super-stern and serious and needs chemicals to unwind.
I know that letting go this way is really, really hard for some people. If it’s hard for you, ease into it. No matter how hard it is, surely you can finger paint when you’re alone in your room! Make yourself do it until you can do it without shame — until you can let go and enjoy getting paint on your nose. You will wind up living longer and having less stress in your life.
And though you can start this in private, try to work towards doing it in the company of someone else. Play is fundamentally a social activity. You will never feel as close to another person as you will when you roll in the mud with him.
Despite the way I sound, I am a very shy person. I don’t, as a rule, go dancing in the streets. But I have a few close friends (and a really fun spouse) with whom I CAN do those things. Those friends keep me alive! I wouldn’t trade them for ten million dollars!
One last thing: if you have kids, what’s your relationship to them? Are you very much the MOM or the DAD. Do you feel like they are the KIDS and you are the GROWN UP? Or do you feel like they’re your friends and you enjoy playing on the floor with them? Of course it’s important to be the grownup for them sometimes. But see if you can ease yourself into a different kind of relationship with them? When did you and your kids last have a snowball fight?
3. Most grownups stop learning. Don’t.
I spent many years as a teacher, mostly teaching computer classes to adults. These were folks who were being forced to adopt new technologies for their jobs. They were very unhappy. They would say, “I don’t understand this stuff! I’m just not one of those computer people.”
What I gradually learned, via long discussions with many, many students from many different occupations, is that this wasn’t true at all. Their problem — though very real — had nothing to do with computers. It had to do with the fact that this was the first time they’d been ask to learn anything new in years. They would have had just as much trouble if their boss had forced them to learn how to knit, juggle or play the guitar.
Even many people we think of as smart do very few new things every day — things that stretch them. Here’s an example: I used to work for a large auction company (think Sotheby’s or Chirstie’s.) This company employed a lot of “experts.” An expert was, say, someone who had spent decades studying French ceramics. Having done a lot of studying, he can now look at a vase and instantly tell you when and where it was made, what it’s worth, and whether it’s an original or a reproduction. I am not making light of this skill. I certainly couldn’t do it.
But let’s take a look at what it involves: the expert had to spend decades cramming information into his brain. He had to get to a point where that information wasn’t just in his brain but also instantly accessible. Doing all that grunt work was an incredible feat, and the expert has good reason to be proud of what he accomplished.
But if he’s like most of us, he learned most of his knowledge in his 20s. Starting in his 30s, he began coasting. Coasting feels really good and most jobs are built to let experts coast. You know you’re coasting when you can go to work and instantly know how to fix any problem. You’re coasting when you can look at the vase and instantly know when and where it was made.
You’re coasting if all your problems at work are things like annoying co-workers and long hours. If you never (or rarely) need to do exhaustive research or work out complex problems on paper or white boards, you’re coasting.
I’m a computer programmer, which means my job is pretty intellectual, and I coast way less than a lot of people: but I STILL coast about 75% of the time. A lot of the code I write is boilerplate stuff. I’m “solving” problems that have already been solved before, and all I need to do is copy, paste and make a few tweaks.
Doctors coast a lot of the time (at least general practitioners do). They hear the same symptoms over and over again, and in most cases, they can do their jobs very well by doing mental “database searches” and regurgitating answers that worked in the past. This is also the case for non-trial lawyers.
If you’re a “smart person” like me, and if you work in an “intellectual” field, it’s humbling to ask yourself, at each point in your day, “Am I stretching my intellect? Am I coming up with a new solution? Am I facing a new problem that I’ve never faced before?” How much of the time do you do this? 10% of the time? 5% of the time? 1% of the time? How many years have gone by without you having to face a REAL intellectual challenge?
Incidentally, the jobs that we think of as intellectual tend to be the least intellectually demanding (with some exceptions, such as Mathematician and Brain Surgeon). The “dumb jobs,” such as auto-mechanic and football player tend to involve a lot of continual, on-your-feet thinking.
What’s wrong with coasting? Nothing, necessarily, if it makes you happy. But we’re moving into a time period where it’s harder to get away with it. The pace of change has quadrupled and we’re getting hit with new technologies daily.
But the bigger problem is that “if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” You need to continually give your brain a workout or it will grow sluggish. We all know those people who have retired at 65 and then spent twenty years sitting in front of the TV. What’s sad is that we accept that people in their 80s are going to be sluggish. But that’s not a given. They don’t have to be! YOU don’t have to be. If your job isn’t challenging you, find ways to challenge yourself. 
Note: most people get frustrated when they fail. This is one of the reasons why they quit trying new things. Trying new things inevitably leads to failure. But understand that, if you’re trying anything challenging, it’s going to take you at least a month to succeed at it. A month is the MINIMUM. It’s more likely that it will take you six months.
So if you, say, try to learn the guitar but “fail” at it after a few hours, you haven’t failed. You can only fail at the guitar if you try to play it for six months and, during all that time, make no progress.
4. If you’re an artist or “creative person,” stop trying to “be original.”
Your goal should be to tell the story you’re trying to tell. (Or play the melody or fill the canvas with color or whatever.)
When I’m not programming computers, I spend my time directing plays. I run a classical theatre company. Here’s the main lesson I’ve learned over the years: if I’m directing, say, “Romeo and Juliet,” my job is to tell that story. Let’s say that, in order to make the story clear and exciting, it turns out that Juliet should be wearing a red dress in a particular scene. But I go see another production and notice the actress in that production is wearing a red dress in the scene in which I was going to put MY Juliet in a red dress!
I will feel that very human urge to make my Juliet wear a blue dress, because I don’t want to be accused of copying or “not being original.” I need to get over it. IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. IF it happens to be a case that a red dress tells the story better than a blue dress, then my Juliet NEEDS to wear a red dress. Art is best when the artists serves the art rather than the other way around.
This general rule applies to many things besides art.
5. If you focus on what’s fair and what’s unfair, you’ll stagnate.
John: Someone keeps stealing pens off my desk! Whenever I need a pen, I can’t find one!
Mary: Well, pens don’t cost very much. Why don’t you just buy a bunch of them once a month. Just think of them as perishable items that have to be replenished!
John: I shouldn’t have to do that! It’s not MY fault the pens go missing! People need to STOP stealing my pens!
Mary: Okay. What can you do to stop them from stealing your pens? Do you have a cabinet or something you can lock them in?
John: No!
Mary: Can you tell your boss? If there’s a security problem in your office, maybe he can…
John: I’ve TRIED that. He doesn’t care! He says it’s just pens. That’s not the point! It’s stealing. Stealing is WRONG!
Mary: You’re right. It IS wrong. It sucks that your boss isn’t going to do anything about it, but I guess that’s the way it is. And it seems like it’s causing you a lot of anxiety. Wouldn’t you feel better if you spent $2 on pens once a week? You could just assume they’ll get stolen and get new ones when you need them. That way, you’d know you’d always have a pen!
John: Why should I be the one who has to buy new pens?
Mary: You shouldn’t be, but you are.
John: That’s not fair!
There’s nothing wrong with striving for fairness and justice. But if that’s not possible, it’s pointless to fall into a mode where you’re constantly stressed out and throwing your hands up in disgust. The pen problem literally used to drive me crazy. Then I took Mary’s advice. The truth is, I earn enough money that buying pens a couple of times a month is no big deal. I wish people wouldn’t steal from me, but I’m just not going to worry about it. A couple of dollars a month let me check a worry off my list. THAT is money well spent!

6. If you’re not failing, you’re doing it wrong.

We need to raise our kids so that they EXPECT to fail and so that they understand that after failing they should keep going. I have finally gotten to a place where I dislike NOT failing. I am suspicious when I don’t fail. Not failing generally means I’m playing it too safe. It means I’m not growing or learning. It means I’m keeping myself from finding all sorts of solutions I could be finding. But the only way to find them is to play past failure.
7. You can’t reason with a lizard.
If someone is hysterical or angry, it’s pointless to reason with him. Don’t try. The “lizard brain” can’t use logic. Understand that you’re dealing with a cornered animal, not a calm philosopher.
8. Stop reading the newspaper.
You don’t really have to stop. If you enjoy reading it, by all means read it. But if you’re one of those people who gets deeply stressed out every time you read the paper or watch CNN, consider stopping. Why are you constantly putting yourself through this stress? Because it’s one’s duty to stay informed? Why?
Okay, I understand why. We live in a Democracy and blah-blah-blah. Fine. But you’re not required to have a life of stress. It doesn’t help you or anyone else for you to be stressed all the time.
And just KNOWING that there are starving people doesn’t help those starving people. If you have a plan of action, by all means carry it out. Otherwise, give yourself a break. If you feel terribly guilty when you’re not informed, then just give yourself a two-week break. You don’t have to stop reading the papers for life. But get out of the habit of being addicted to stress and sorrow. Your blood pressure will go down.
9. Do something that’s not for money.
Make sure there’s something pleasurable in your life that is completely disconnected with money. In our culture (in all cultures?) money comes with all kinds of baggage. Find something you like to do that will NEVER make you any money.
If you’re a waitress who longs to be a professional actress, acting in plays for free doesn’t count. It’s great, but it’s not what I’m talking about, because you’re hoping to one day quit waitressing and MAKE MONEY acting. Keep that dream alive, but find some other activity to be your non-money-pleasure. Say, “I like sketching (or whatever) and it will never, ever make me any money. And if someone offered me money to sketch, I’d turn it down, because I want one thing in my life that is forever disconnected from money.”
And it can’t be something connected to duty. Yes, you don’t get paid for raising your kids, and, yes, a lot of that job is fun. But parts of it are a duty. So it doesn’t count. Knitting counts. Playing basketball with your friends counts.
Hanging out with friends doesn’t count. It’s fun. It’s not about making money. But it’s not a specific activity. You need something that will jolt you out of the belief that most of us have — that anything you spend time and energy on MUST be about money.
10. The hour before bed is for you.
Don’t work right up until bedtime. Even if you “have to.” Take half an hour — even 20 minutes if it’s all you can spare — before you go to bed to unwind in an engrossing way. (Do this even if you’re really tired and would rather not stay up an extra 20 minutes.) By which I mean don’t just sit on the sofa with a glass of wine. If you do that, it’s too easy to start thinking and worrying about work. Spend that time reading a chapter of a fun thriller (not a “classic” that you think you “should” read) or watching an episode of a sitcom that makes you laugh.
Think of this as your duty. It will help you get your work done better the next day. It will help you get to sleep.
11. There is no such thing as highbrow and lowbrow.
Or if there is, who cares? School has bamboozled us into thinking Shakespeare is superior to “Gilligan’s Island.” As someone who directs Shakespeare plays and reads “King Lear” for fun, I’m here to tell you that the only great art is the art you love.
Life is really fucking hard. You have to deal with losing jobs, getting divorces, paying taxes and fixing the toilet. Don’t add to your troubles by telling yourself — or letting someone else tell you — that you’re a moron because you prefer beer to expensive champagne.
If something is beloved by experts, “refined people” and scholars, there probably IS something wonderful about it. If you want to spend an hour with me, I’ll explain to you why Shakespeare is wonderful and what you’ll get out of his plays if you spend some time studying them. But it’s not a requirement. You’re not in school any longer. (Or if you are, you soon won’t be). There’s no teacher waiting for you to turn in your homework.
I am NOT a better person than you because I read Shakespeare. I read Shakespeare because I enjoy it. If I read it because I “should,” I’d be a fool.
Art is primarily sensual. It can sometimes politicize people or give them intellectual ideas, but what art does best is feed you: it feeds your eyes with colors; it feeds your ears with sounds; it feeds your nerves with “what’s going to happen next????” Life is short. If “24” feeds you more than “Hamlet,” enjoy your feast!
If you feel guilty about watching “American Idol” when you “should be” watching “Masterpiece Theatre,” then agree to challenge yourself once a month. Once a month, you’ll go to a museum or watch a foreign film. The rest of the time, watch and read and listen to whatever makes you sit on the edge of your seat. Whatever makes you sing and dance.
If you’re an “intellectual” like me, take a break from the Bergman films and Shakespeare plays once in a while. Sure, sure. “American Idol” is the death of American culture or whatever. But a couple of episodes of it. It’s pretty engrossing and fun.
Get out of the habit of labeling things as high and low. There’s stuff that feeds you and stuff that doesn’t. There are acquired tastes which don’t feed you now but which might feed you in the future, once you get used to them. As soon as you get the urge to categorize one thing as “art” and the other thing as “just entertainment,” try to stop. There are different sorts of meals, and it’s great to live in a world with both caviar and Pop Tarts!

改革不能少数人得利而成本由全民承担[作者:郎咸平]

我心中一直有一个疑问——“到底什么叫做改革开放?”我一直在思考这个问题,我也想找到一个适当的场合来陈述我的想法。我在《资本主义精神和社会主义改革》一书中,以一个学者的身份来谈一谈我心目中的改革开放应该是一个什么样的思维。

有很多人说我是“反改革”,说我忽略了邓小平先生提出的“让一部分人先富起来”的道理,像这一类的批评,已经见怪不怪了。因为这类批评对我来讲,已经是司空见惯。我要请各位思考一下,你认为我们的改革开放是成功的吗?我们回头看一看,邓小平说过一句话:“先让一部分人富起来。”各位注意到没有,当时讲这句话的时候,全国老百姓是一致支持的。当时在社会主义的环境里,竟然能够喊出“让一部分人先富起来”。可是,让一部分人先富起来有什么条件呢?我想把这个条件重新定义清楚,我不希望在这个基本问题上面,我们学术界或者企业界再有任何争论,以及任何的怀疑。它的条件就是,可以让一部分人先富起来,可是其他人不能变得更贫穷,这就是原则。也就是邓小平所说的“走向共同富裕”。

今天你们可能会怀疑,这个制度有效率吗?一个注重公平,一个以公平为基本原则的制度(包括美国和欧洲)是有效率的吗?我告诉各位,我不想谈论它是不是有效率,但至少有一点可以肯定:如果你把公平放弃了的话,马克思的预言就会成为真实。这不是我个人的理解,这是西方这么多伟大的经济学家和伟大的政府政策制定人一致的结论。这种具有划时代意义的马克思主义,我们对它理解有多少?这种马克思主义化的资本主义,我们对它又了解多少?今天你翻开资本主义精神的代表著作——比如微观经济学,会发现效率改进的先决条件(帕累托改进)竟然是以公平为基础。什么是以公平为主呢?就是一部分人可以先富起来,但其他的人不能更贫穷。

这不就是社会主义化的资本主义吗?这个思维不正是邓小平所提出来的吗?但是各位请注意,邓小平讲可以让一部分人一部分地区先富起来,先富的帮助后富的,然后逐步实现共同富裕。他讲话的场合是在社会主义国家,这个社会主义国家的公平性是不允许任何人挑战的。所以,在每一个人不能变得更加贫穷的情况之下,邓小平提出来我们可以让一部分人先富起来,结果得到全国老百姓的一致支持。他这个理念不但符合马克思主义,同时也符合现代资本主义的精神。这个伟大的思维,才应该主导着我国的改革开放。

但是现在,我们走到了什么地步呢?基尼系数从当时改革开放的接近于零到现在的0.5,你们觉得我们的改革开放符合历史的发展规律吗?你们觉得我们的改革开放符合邓小平的理念吗?你们又觉得我们的改革开放符合现代的马克思主义和现代的资本主义吗?我绝对不能接受这种导致一部分人富起来而由其他人负担社会成本的改革。我在这里再次阐述一下我的观点,并把我国在这二十几年来的改革开放一条一条列出来,做一个评论。

谈谈我们的教育改革。我对政府官员和企业老总讲了这么一句话,我说:“各位来宾,你们记不记得,二十多年前你考上清华、北大的那个情景。你当然记得。你的父母含着眼泪把你送到火车站。他们买不起硬卧车票,给你买一张硬座的站票,让你站到北京上清华大学。你毕业了,功成名就之后,把你的父母接到大城市居住,而你就开始搞教育产业化的改革了,你断送了当初和你一样贫穷的农村子弟唯一脱贫致富的机会,因为学费提高的结果是他们再也念不起大学了,你怎么忍心啊?”

什么叫教育改革?这是最为荒谬的一种改革。市场化就是通过价格机能,使得供需平衡。你怎么能够把市场化的概念引入到教育里面呢?教育本身就是精英取向的供需不平衡的制度,你把市场化的概念引入教育制度里面来干什么呢?要搞供需平衡吗?到最后你要花更高的学费才能进大学。我们没有政府大规模的贷款制度来补贴穷人,如果你进行市场化,其结果是让很多的农村青年不是因为成绩不好念不起大学,而是因为没有钱念不起大学。配套的制度和措施是教育改革的先决条件。我们没有这种配套措施,你怎么敢随便把市场化的概念放在教育改革里面呢?这又是一个改革成本由全社会最为贫穷的人来承担的荒谬改革。

我们再来看看医疗改革!当一个急诊的病人送到医院去的时候,部分的医院第一句话不是“你哪里不舒服呀?”而是“你有没有保证金呀?”如果你没有,你就在走廊里等死吧!我们可能见怪不怪,可是我告诉你,在香港任何一家医院,病人看急诊是免费的。各位知道香港老百姓为什么愿意出这笔钱吗?因为这是对人性、对弱势群体最起码的关怀。我们这里有吗?我还要告诉各位同学,你到美国看病是什么情况。美国的法律规定,必须先给你治病,治完病之后再向你收钱,如果钱不够,可以分期付款。这是对于弱者的关怀与情怀!可是我们今天有吗?当然我承认政府在这方面也在努力做好,例如我们第18次调低药品的费用。但是问题不在这里,是在一个没有法治化的游戏规则之下,你控制不住收费的标准,尤其是控制不住民营医院的收费标准。

在美国,看病的保险不是每一个美国人都有的。在美国相当多的穷人是没有保险的。保险需要一年几千美元。综观美国、欧洲、亚洲,几乎没有哪一个国家的医疗改革是成功的。既然医疗改革是这么的艰难,医疗改革的问题是这么的多,我们怎么敢这么轻意把市场化的概念强加在医改上呢!这种改革还不如不改,因为你太不了解国际大势了,你把市场化看得太神圣了。最后我们发现,很多民营企业家打着医改市场化的招牌大赚利润,而成本却由社会上的病人来承担,这又是一个改革利益属于少数人,而改革成本由社会大众承担的错误改革。

这就是我们的医疗改革。那么我们其他的改革呢?比如说“股改”。什么叫做“股改”,我们到底清不清楚“股改”的概念?让我们回头看一下英国这个“邪恶的帝国主义”怎么做“股改”的!英国有很多的国营企业,所以在撒切尔夫人时代进行了“股改”。但是“股改”有股改的原则,这种改革都是和国企改革相对应的,那就是经营好的国有企业进行“股改”,而经营不好的国有企业不能进行“股改”。因为“股改”本身牵扯到英国中央政府的背书。只要政府把坏的公司推出,股民赔了钱之后就会骂英国政府。中央政府怎么敢对老百姓言而失信,怎么敢在老百姓的心目之中失去其信用形象呢?因此,只有把好公司进行“股改”,希望老百姓可以赚钱。而现在我们的“股改”,是好好坏坏的公司全部进行“股改”!最后的代价就是我们的政府将信用一起赔了进去。

最后我只问监管单位三句话,第一,你敢不敢保证上市公司在“股改”前不大量收购流通股?你不敢保证。第二,你敢不敢保证上市公司不敢篡改选票,不敢贿赂选民?你也不敢保证。我们已经知道的贿选事件,曾经在上海被大规模报道。第三,你敢不敢保证,推出法人股之后,上市公司不会制造假消息,在高位套现离场,坑害股民?最后,监管单位什么都不能保证!而在什么都不能保证的情况之下进行“股改”,甚至把坏公司都一起进行“股改”,这就是对政府信用的破坏,也是对股民的再一次掠夺!是让全体的股民一起跟着受罪,承担着改革的成本。这种“股改”能够成功吗?“股改”失败之后怎么办?就算了吗?谁负责呢?在今天日益复杂的经济环境中,我们这种简单地引用一些国外的先进概念而创造的政策,必须要检讨。

我们今天太喜欢使用资本主义表面简单肤浅的现象进行改革,而不实事求是地深究各种改革的本质问题,这才是改革的最大危机之所在。当然,还有很多改革都值得我们批评和关注,包括农业改革、房改、金融改革、银行改革,其共同的结果就是改革由少数既得利益者独享改革成果,而改革成本由全社会负担。

错钱

不知道以后自己再次看到这文时会是一种什么样的感受.

 

上个月,我的一个朋友某某因为生意上出了点意外,急需要一笔钱,当他打电话给我时,我感觉有一点奇怪,因为我们的关系仅仅只限于一般朋友,故此,就有了一点点犹豫。
我说:一会儿我给你电话吧。
我考虑了十分钟,决定把这钱借给他。
  上个星期,他把钱还给了我,之后请我喝茶。
他说:你答应借钱给我还真出乎我的意料之外!
我问:为什么?
  他回答:打你电话之前我已经打过9通电话,你是第10个。当你说“一会儿给你电话”时,我认为我需要打第11通电话了。我是按照亲疏关系打的这10通电话,越打到后面越没有信心,所以,打你电话已经是死马当成活马医的心态了。
之后,就这个话题我们谈论了许多,他总结性地说了一句话:如果不是这次借钱,我还以为我有很多朋友,现在我才明白,原来我是这么孤独。
过后的几天我都在想这件事,然后,我决定了解一下自己到底是否也如我那个朋友一样那么孤独。
在做这件事之前,我把想法打电话告诉了他,他笑了:我劝你还是别做这种游戏,这会让你感觉从天堂落入了地狱!
我把现在身边自认为的好朋友的名字挑了出来,这些人都在本地,外地的暂不列入,
他们和我从来没有金钱上的借贷关系,也和我的工作没有任何牵连,我们经常在一起,要不吃饭,要不喝茶,要不泡酒吧,相互之间我帮他们的一点小忙的时候居多,
属于纯粹意义上的朋友,有9个人,而且他们的经济实力借个几千块肯定是没很大的问题的。
我给他们每人发了一条内容差不多的短信:
我现在遇到点麻烦,需要问你借X千块钱,一个月之内归还。如行的话给我电话,不行就发个信息吧,也不要紧,我等你答复。
我是昨天下午发的,晚饭时间未到,收到了7条信息,2通电话。信息基本回的都很快,全没超过一个小时,其中一通电话是信息发出后20分钟左右来的,还有一通是信息发出后2个半小时左右打来的。
7条信息内容如下
陈:真对不起!我目前有点困难,真的,要不然你的事情肯定没话说的,你问问YYY吧,不好意思!
乔:XX,上个星期我小舅子刚问我借了1万,下个月还有点可能,真对不起!
唐:这段时间我自己都很困难,前一段打麻将输了好多钱,XX,不好意思,我要情况好的话绝对没问题的。
王:真不好意思了,我的钱都在股票里,对不起!
陈:XX,你怎么会要借钱哦,我昨天才借给人家1万,是放息的,你又不早说,不好意思,你再想想别的办法咯。
陆:对不起,最近我的股票都套牢了,手里没有现金,不好意思呵!
章:XX,我儿子开学就要转到某某的YY学校去,,开学就要交5千,真的没办法帮你,请原谅!
电话是姓王和姓张的朋友打来的。
第一通电话:
王:喂,XX吗?
我:你好,是我!
王:搞什么搞,怎么这么点钱还要借啊?你出什么事儿了?
我:没出什么事儿,我钱放在市场里,一时半会儿出不来,我弟弟有点事儿,急用的。
王:没出事儿就好。你在公司啊?
我:啊,是啊!
王:我儿子上学被人家自行车给撞了,小腿骨折,我几天都没出门了。
我:啊?你儿子骨折怎么没听你说啊?要帮忙吗?
王:我请了一星期假,我老公那个该死的公司又请不到假,我准备下个星期让我妈过来帮着照顾,你别管了!你把银行卡的卡号告诉我,我让我老公明天上班给你打过去。
  ……………………………………
第二通电话:
张:喂,XX啊,我是周YY哦,你现在在哪里?
我:我在公司啊!
张:哦,我刚到店里,钱已经准备好了,是我送过去还是你过来拿?
我:怎么好意思让你送过来啊,这样吧,我一会儿去你那儿给你写张借条,钱到时就打到我卡上吧。
张:那你把卡号给我,我现在就帮你打过去,什么行啊?工行还是建行?
我:随便,哪个行你方便?
张:我店对面就是工行,你把工行卡号给我吧。
  …………………………
昨晚,魏某和我又一起去了咖吧,又各自发了一番感慨。
我告诉他,借钱给我的这2个朋友平时从来没有麻烦过我替他们解决任何事情,其它的朋友倒是时不时地要麻烦我,一会儿是电脑的问题,一会儿是股票的问题,一会儿是投资的问题……
他问我:借你钱的朋友你准备告诉他们实情吗?
我说:除非我今晚开始神经了!
他笑了,很落寞地说:从现在开始,你只有这2个朋友了。
我不记得曾经看过一本什么书,似乎有过这样一句话:帮助过你的人永远都会帮助你,但你帮过的人就不一定。我也笑了,看着眼前袅袅升起的烟雾,淡淡地说:心里明白,嘴上不说,也没什么不好。
这样以后真的遇到困难,就知道该找谁帮忙了,省得求一些靠不住的人,自己心里难受,别人心里尴尬,还耽误了事情。知道什么样的朋友是可以一起玩的,知道什么样的朋友是可以依靠的。
对于那些可以一起玩的朋友,就平时一起娱乐,不要用事情去麻烦他们;对于那些可以依靠的,就要好好对待他们,别看我有很多朋友,真正靠得住的只有这廖廖数人。
爱惜自己靠得住的朋友,努力使自己成为别人靠得住的朋友,这样,你才能在这个城市里扎下根来。
感言:就算你人缘再好,能在你困难的时候帮助你的还是只有那么寥寥数人,狂欢,不过是一群人的孤单。真正的朋友,是能够伴你度过寂寞、孤独以及沉默的那个人。
其实,我以前读过这句话,貌似是出自一个犹太商人求助的故事,我也认为这句话非常有道理。到底什么是朋友呢,我觉得以下这几个定义可以很好的阐述这一点
1、好朋友在一起不是有说不完的话,而是就算不说话,也不会觉得尴尬。
2、朋友就是把你看透了还愿意和你在一起的人。
3、朋友就是不为任何理由来看你的人。

Facebook的标语

  • Done is better than perfect.
  • Code wins arguments
  • Move fast and break things
  • Stay focused and keep shipping

    .

 

 

 

Facebook即将上市,一时之间成为全球新闻热点。

为了不错过商机,有人将Facebook内部的标语做成海报,每张20美元,放到网上卖。

据说,从扎克伯格创业初期,这些标语就贴在Facebook的办公室,作为行动准则,激励员工。

虽然这些标语很简单,但是我发现,它们真的具有警醒的效果,能指导你做出正确的事。我正在考虑,将这些标语的链接放到我的首页,每天看一遍。

虽然我把它们译成了中文,但只有看英文,才能感受到里面全部的含义。

1.

Done is better than perfect.

比完美更重要的是完成。

2.

Code wins arguments.

代码赢得争论。

3.

Move fast and break things.

快速行动,破除陈规。

4.

Stay focused and keep shipping.

保持专注,持续发布。

“毕业即失业,出门就落伍” (人生百忌──忌不时时进修)

 

刘墉

你家一定有古董照相机吧!
那古董可能一点也不古,搞不好连十年都不到,里面的电池还能充电、闪光灯也亮,镜头还有好几个,问题是它硬变成了古董,就算今天不是,过两年也非成收藏品不可。
这有什么办法呢?连百年老店柯达都关门重整了,许多底片几年前就不再生产,就算还生产的,照相器材行也不一定卖。即使卖,冲洗的地方也不多。如同你有枪,却没子弹,那枪还管什么用?
再会了!过去的光荣
留声机也一样,一百多年前就发明了,转了一百年,被卡式取代、被CD数位取代,今天除了专业DJ,谁还会用黑胶唱片?
电话也是,一百多年前就发明了,管它是手摇的,还是拨号的,座机一百年都没什么变化,可是为什么没多久,几乎全被手机取代了?
印刷排版更不用说,从毕升发明活字版,多神哪!中国四大发明之一,改变了全人类的文明。那些活字、从油泥到木刻、铜雕、铅铸,二十年前还有人用,怎一下子全被电脑打字取代了?
混口饭愈来愈难了
都是百年或几百年啊!都是值得骄傲的发明啊!怎么过去百年都不变,这二十年全变了?而且不断变、三天两头变,管他手机电脑还是相机音响,没多久就过时了。
那么,过去几百年,甚至上千年不变的理论技术和观念,是不是也会变呢?
「家有万贯,不如一技在身」,过去几千年,如果你拜师学艺,三五年出师,就能用那点本事,混吃混喝一辈子。
现在还行吗?所有的东西都在变,连刻印章和做招牌都变,你能不变吗?当所有的人都向前飞奔,你能不跟进吗?
不进则退,慢进也退
再想想「十年寒窗无人问,一举成名天下知」这句从小到大,不知听过几百几千遍的名言,它说得还对吗?
过去六岁启蒙,一头钻进书堆里(说实话,书堆加起来,还不够一个光碟的容量)十年苦读,参加科举考试,中了举、当了官,衣锦还乡,敲锣打鼓地上任。
管你是「三年清知府,十万雪花银」的贪官,还是「一介书生去,两袖清风回」的清官,请问你能在任多久?如果以上世纪初的平均寿命计算,即使你二十岁就上任,又因公殉职地死在办公桌前,也不过二十多年。
可是现在呢?你二十二岁大学毕业,六十多岁退休,以后还可能延到七十几,那是四五十年哪!
当年项羽自刎不过三十一岁,现在有人七十多还在选总统,面对比上一代加倍的寿命和千倍的变化,你十年寒窗学的东西还够用吗?
古人可能够用,套一套「之乎者也」、掉一掉圣贤书袋、再练得一笔王字柳字颜字,二十多年,一下子就过了。
可是今天成吗?你换一台相机手机,就得看一次使用手册;你换个电脑,就得学新的操作,工具在变、观念在变、思想在变、世界在变、所有人都在进步,你「不进则退」,慢进也退,如果学校再跟社会脱节,很可能你才毕业,已经落伍了!
大学生不如高职生?
让我说个亲身体验吧:
因为房子装修,我最近常跟一位设计师打交道,那设计师很有名、也设计得很好,但我后来才知道,他不过是某高职的学历。
问题是,他设计出来的东西,一点也不比名牌艺术系出来的人差。艺术系要经过严格的考试,再受四年科班训练。高职不过高中学历,从进去到出来都是未成年的孩子,为什么他们能比大学生还棒?
我后来终于想通了。因为那高职是私立,没钱聘专任老师,所以都从外面找人兼课。兼课的老师可能前一刻还在广告公司、设计公司、建筑公司、摄影公司忙得团团转,后一刻就冲到高职,教那一票毛孩子。
按说他们绝不如名牌大学的专任教授教得好。
可是错了!他们教出来的可能更棒!
因为他们在公司前一刻才操作最新的机器、设计最新的建筑,或者跟挑剔的顾客大吵一架,后一刻就把他们的经验分享给学生。有时候他们忙不了,还要学生去公司帮忙。
比脸还黄的讲义
相对的,学院派的教授,每学期可能教同样的科目、用同样的教材、甚至发同样的考卷。他们是会研究、会写论文、会出国考察,而且可能在学术界位居要津。
但是,他们也可能不食人间烟火,跟社会脱节!
退回五十年,他们半辈子在黑板上抄比脸还黄的讲义,可能都不会过时,如同相机、留声机、电话机和印刷术,可以百年不变。
但是放在今天,如果教授不努力求新求变,没多久就过时了。他们过时,教出来的学生也可能过时,如果那学生再被留校,一路助教、讲师、副教授、教授升上去,就过时加过时了。
别被自己打败
说了这么多,我希望大家想想,你是不是从金榜题名的那天,就以为黄金屋跟颜如玉已经近在眼前?从走出校门,就认为你学到的「一技之长」已经够用一生?搞不好你还因为学历高,睥睨四方,认为自己是人上人。
你真是人上人吗?你就算知道天高,只怕也难知道地厚,因为你的脚还没落在地面。
回到文章一开始提到的柯达。
过去十年,柯达的股价掉了百分之九十九,他们是被谁打败的?
是被数码相机打败的!也是被他们的自以为是打败的。既经济又方便的数码相机,取代了要装底片、冲底片、晒照片,而且无法洗掉重来的旧式相机。
数码相机是谁发明的?
居然是一九七五年的柯达!
今天你再伟大、再聪明,只要一刻不儆醒、一天不进步,就可能落在人后。即使是你自己的创意,只要你不掌握、不开发,就可能落在别人手里,而且用它把你打得很惨。
今天也没什么铁饭碗金饭碗,同一个饭碗倒是可以装金,也能装铁。你跟得上时代,可以装金;跟不上时代,就只能装铁。
今天也没什么真正的退休,你跟不上、被辞退,或你的单位跟不上、关了门,就是你退休的时候。不是让你退而休息,是让你退而进修。至于那些不能时时进修的人,则可能被永远淘汰。
别怪这个世界太残酷,别怪你沉在社会的底层,要想想你有没有在这疾流里奋力往上游。
今天的时代没有毕业。
人生百忌,忌不时时进修